Lights

Lights passing by
on the high way
a million miles an hour

White lines
dividing traffic
pointing us further

Moments with you
in the world
changing lanes

The Cay

You seem to isolate me. You put me on this island and leave me here telling me to make friends, telling me to occupy my time. You tell me not to think about you all the time. But how am I supposed to not think about the rescue ship in the bay? How am I to avoid wanting to be rescued constantly by you. How am I supposed to live isolated? Sand and waves can occupy me for only so long. When the storm comes, will you still be there or will you be on shore protecting me? I feel left, and alone. And I don't know what else to say.

The Tide

We all aim to be something, to make something of our lives here in the time we are given. We all come to reality and break the clear glass. We make ripples and pull ourselves out of darkness. Water that once held us down will fall from our face, and we will break free. We will come up to breathe.

You have taught me to swim these enchanted waters. Waters that can be calm, can be rough. A deep sea that we can easily get lost in. When there is no raft, you have taught me to swim. And not to stop. To keep on. And from you I have grown. I can endure.

When all else fades, I can close my eyes, move my hands, and stay afloat. And to those lost souls, left drowning beneath, we can all be inspired, for them, to swim. In turn, may they see our strength, and find theirs.

Let us know the calm before the storm. Let us prepare and cherish the waters in which we live. When the waves get rough, let us keep hope. And when the waves move slowly and slosh around, let us smile and rest. Let us know, that we will meet a ship, and it will lead us home, but until then, we should swim. Swim every day, day by day, improving our bodies, improving our spirits.

And all these swimming lessons, these that have affected all I am, may I in turn teach you some as well.

The Breaking Point

"I'm sorry."

So over used. So under-expressed. I can't help but breath a little less every time. This hurts. I am left. Again and again. You say you continue to stay, but then you walk away. You say you never forget me, but here I am in this bed alone. Here I lay, alone, alone, alone. My echo is the only sound I can hear, the reflection in the mirror, an empty hand, the only thing I can see. My own warmth, all left to grow cold. Where did you go? How can you put me on the bottom of the pile? Put everything, everything, above me. You rest it all on my shoulders? It weighs me down, making me small, almost nothing to you at all. You give me no excuse, no reason, just a shake of your head, a squeeze of my hand. Don't thank me for understanding, thank me for waiting. For waiting on the edge of my seat for everything I receive from you. I live, falling faster and faster, more and more freely in love with you, and I watch as you smile my way, but walk right past. I am left pushed away, why? Why do you make me feel this way? You claim you need to work on these things, but what happened to stepping up? What happened to not try, do? By God, the greatest lesson I have learned from you is to never be content failing, to always do, never try, just succeed. Do nothing less than it all. Where is your response, where is your change, your movement to new and leaving of old? I ask nothing more than what you ask of me. I step up, I stand when I fall, I run when it hurts.

And "I'm sorry", fails.
"I'm sorry" doesn't count anymore, for anything.

Break the wall, or break down.

Change

How comfortable we can get in our tiny little worlds in which we live. The ones where the road ends with the end of the city limits. The world in which a plane can never take us away or a car can never lead us astray. How big the map is, but so little we actually know of it, content in our boundaries we set for ourselves. Fear is our fence, chains are our running shoes. We go no farther than the "Stop" at the end of our neighborhood street. We do not break the wall and keep on, we pause. We stay stuck and content with absolutely nothing. And we do not miss what we do not know.

How strange it is that we can open a letter to the rest of the world. One line that eliminates all boundaries, finds all faults, and builds a bridge to the greener grass. The greener grass and purer water for us to drink. And with one tear, on sweeping motion, the brakes unlock and we can move. We become what we never thought was possible. We break the wall, we crack the lock, we cut the chains, we stare at fear and watch the fence disappear. Freedom. What we never realized. What we never accepted until now.

Until now.

Take It or Leave It

My love is messy
Up and down
back and forth from smile to frown

It comes in waves
that break your shore
and repel back to sea some more

My love is full
Never incomplete
Just swayed in and out, remarkably unique

It is complex at times
simple at others
yet always pure to heart and fully tethered

My love will always be
Never contained or controlled
Never mined or refined

It will exist as it does
in kindness and mind
lasting until you set it free

But My love,
most cautiously
should be taken as it's seen

It cannot be burdened
by analysis or discontent
it must be taken for what it's meant

Because my Love, you see,
Life is simple
Love is free

Falling For You

There are many things that scare me. You are one of them. You have all this power to bend me and break me, make me shatter into a thousand pieces. There are a million things I could say, things I still need to say, but all that matters right now is that I'm here. That's is why falling doesn't seem so scary. You aren't so scary when I feel like I'm being caught. And that's what you like about me. I'm here and I care. I won't ever let you fall to the ground. What you need to learn is that I fall, and I fall fast. You can't keep letting other people catch me. You can't keep letting me fear alone. I need something to let me know you're here. To let me know, I may be falling, but I will be caught. I need something to work with. Something to sleep to. I can't go to sleep feeling like I'm falling in midair, "us" in some limbo between sky and earth. You take me out of my comfort zone, you make me grow. And I love that. And I work at that every day. I work and change and shift and mold into who I want to become. And I shift for you, I do. But when things are hazy, I look down and see fog and reach, but don't feel you there. I don't see hands. I just get scared. And I feel like I'm free falling. Where are you to catch me?

You want me to be confident in us, but when we start falling, you never seem like you really care to catch me. Give me time to trust you, adjust to catching me.